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You Might Be A Caffeine Addict If...
• you think sleep is for the weak
• you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend"
• you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable
• you have a website about caffeine
• you're on a first name basis with Juan Valdez
• your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee
• your heart rate is always in triple digits
• you know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
• you wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT
• you can name the five flavors of JOLT
• you have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter
• you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma
• you ask, "Sleep? What's that?"
• you go to the doctor because you're afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream
• every coffee company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.
• your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won't shut anymore
• your wife asked you to buy milk, bread and butter and you heard "buy coffee, coffee and coffee"
• your slogan is "Save water, drink coffee"
• your child's name is Nescafe
• Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of
• Starbucks has decided to use you as their official mascot.you've ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
• you regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
• you have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA"
• your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia
• you go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee
• your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen
• you've ever used the airplane's Call button just to get a coffee refill
• you've ever knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo
• your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme
• you can't remember the last time you blinked
• you have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee
• you have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent
• you have dark brown colored hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it
• the dishes in your house are all coffee cups
• your dog's name is Folgers
• you see nothing wrong with using water joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze
• you believe that sleep is simply a poor substitute for sleep
• it's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee
• you have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep
• you'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning. (Caffeine withdrawal is a real headache.)
• you've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine
• you could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you
• you suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee
• you dip espresso beans.
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