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Coffee Voodoo Advices
The following "tips" for making coffee are all bullshit. We list them here so that if you ever hear someone repeating them, you can punch them hard on the nose and let them think about the errors of their ways while trying to mop blood off the carpet.
1. Rinse paper filters in hot water to keep their "papery" taste from getting in your coffee.
2. Perhaps if they bought real unbleached coffee filters instead of wadding napkins into the machine then they wouldn't have this problem.
3. Add a few tiny crystals of salt, no more than about 7 or 8, to the top of your grounds before brewing. It neutralizes the acidity.
4. More retards who can't follow simple fucking directions. The acidity wouldn't be there if you didn't buy cheap coffee and over-extract it, you morons.
5. Always keep your beans in the freezer to preserve their freshness.
No! No! This is WRONG! You are a RETARD! You should be KILLED! This destroys the OILS! Anybody with more brains than a bag of hair knows you should keep them at ABOVE FREEZING in a dark and airtight container! You go to HELL! You go to hell and you DIE! Die, nazi scumbag! DIE!
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