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Coffee home - Coffee humor - Coffee Fanatics Pray

Coffee Fanatics Pray

Coffee Fanatics Pray
Welcome Oh worshipers of the Goddess Caffeina and her consort Juan Valdez, God of Coffee, welcome one and all to their Temple.

Come forward Oh faithful worshiper through the Great Hall of the Holy Bean, Hear the monk's chant of javajavajavamochamochamochajavajavajava and let it sooth you. Take off your shoes and walk upon the new gift of the Goddess, the Coffee Carpet which as you step bathes you in the aroma of the Holy Elixir and lets you feel as if you are walking upon the gently warmed Holy Bean, it has been rolled out for you. Stop at one of the many alcoves of the past great ones of our way and give proper admiration and respect to they who dedicated their lives to the service of our Lady Goddess Caffeina and her consort Juan Valdez, God of Coffee.

There is Mr. Coffee, Patron Saint of Makers of the Holy Elixir who is also called Saint Java and Saint Joe. Folgers, Patron Saint of Speed (instant that is) and Perculation. Cappucino, the patron saint of flavor. Espresso the much admired Patron of Concentration and the Jittery and the many, many others who are the most revered of our many patron saints such as Saint Mocha the Chocolatey who sacrificed mightily of herself to bring foam and flavor (and a sprinkling of cinnamon) to the Holy Elixir.

Make your way to the Altar of the Holy Bean and sacrifice the sacred offerings of Cream and Sugar or perhaps you crave flavored essences like French Vanilla or Hazelnut they are here for you or if you prefer the simple blackness and untouched aroma of the Elixir then sit and ponder the deep blackness of it and may you find enlightenment in the refelction of the Goddess in liquid.

May the Blessings of the Bean be upon you.

A question has come to of the faithful has called for it and I am compelled to ask the greatest question of our time...a new saint's very existence hangs in the balance. Brother Starbucks, The Great Distributor of the Elixir Most Holy, Missionairy and Lover of the Gifts of the Goddess. He who stands on every corner of the streets and brings the smells of heaven and the tongue-teasing, palate pleasing, awakening taste of the Holiest of Elixirs to the masses is up for sainthood...the question is he worthy?

All Hail the Holy Bean!

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